but do i really want to end it all? i keep thinking things might get better but i’ve literally been telling myself that for the past five years and it’s barely gotten better. i don’t want to deal with anything anymore. everyone keeps saying how beautiful life is but it’s not at all. i feel like shit all the time and i know i’m an ungrateful bitch for feeling that way because i’m so privileged.
i’m so undeserving of my life; i live in a middle class suburb, i go to one of the best high schools in the entire nation, my parents work so fucking hard for my sister and me, my dad buys me everything, and my family loves me so much and yet i’m a complete fucking failure who will barely graduate high school next month.
there are so many kids who deserve my life more than i do.
i’m not religious at all, but sometimes i feel like god put me here to make a difference for all those who aren’t as privileged as me. all i want to do is make other people happy or make their lives better because they deserve it.
i just don’t know what to think right now. i can’t get over the fact that life is so… i don’t know. i think it’s valuable but it’s also worthless at the same time. i think the word i’m looking for is meaningless.
i think i’m gonna go to bed now. i’ve had enough of my stupid thoughts.
it’s scary to think i could literally end everything if i really wanted to but i don’t think i’d be able to do that to my family :( this is so unfair
thinking about graduation or college makes me want to kill myself.
i don’t understand why i think or feel this way. some days i’m completely infatuated with you and i dream of being with you, but other days i hate you and want nothing to do with you. all i know is that i wish i never laid eyes on you so that i wouldn’t feel like shit all the time.
i feel so wrong…
conservative mormon girls are so cute omfg
*falls in love with a boy from the apple store*
i wish you didn’t have such an effect on me. i wish i could just forget about you.
i hate you so much. i don’t deserve to feel like this.
i’ve tried letting go by replacing you. it was working but then i saw you…